Have you ever been late for a bus or pressed the snooze button too many times? We polled some of our readers to find out what they thought were the funniest, weirdest, and most ridiculous reasons for being late to work. This collection of amusing excuses for being late to work will undoubtedly brighten your day.
Listed below is our collection of things concerning individuals who are late; we’ve also included some entertaining anecdotes about people who are late.
My son, Gareth, who works as an insurance broker in Florida, enjoys ocean fishing and always has his mobile phone with him when he goes out on the water. A few days later, we were floating approximately ten miles offshore as Gareth spoke on the phone about business matters. In an instant, his rod bowed in half and the reel shrieked in response to the torrential flow of line from the spool.
Gareth was in complete command of the situation. “Please accept my apologies,” he informed his client politely. “I’m taking a phone call on another line.”
Will is always on time While Dave is always late.
There are probably many people who have a friend or family who, no matter how hard they try, is always late for appointments or other events. Will’s buddy, Dave Barker, was one of these individuals, and the two of them almost drove each other insane when they worked together. Will was usually on time, so if they were supposed to meet at 9.30, Will would ultimately remind Dave that it was 9.00, but I assume Dave didn’t notice and kept on in his own sweet way, resulting in his being late!
TEACHER: Do you happen to know what time we start school here in the morning, young lady? TEACHER:
PUPIL: No, Miss, I’m not one of them. That’s something I’ve never done before.
TEACHER: Young guy, you’ve been late to school every day this week. Please excuse yourself.
CLASSROOM STUDENT: No, Miss, I was only tardy to school on four days this week. I was away from work the other day.
TEACHER: Do you have any clue how many times you have been late to school this year? TEACHER:
It hasn’t happened more than once a day, Miss, according to my calculations.
YOUNG MALE: You’ve been late to school on five occasions this week, Mr. Teacher. Is it anything that makes you happy?
PUPIL: That’s correct. That indicates that it is Friday.
TEACHER: Do you know what the term “tardy” means, young lady? TEACHER: Do you know what the word “tardy” means?
PUPIL: No, Miss, I’m not one of them. Obviously, you had already taken care of everything before I got here.
One of the students in our class is notoriously tardy to school. When we were studying the Hundred Years War, he only appeared during the final three years of the conflict.
TEACHER: Do you have a valid reason for your absence from class yesterday?
PUPIL: If I had a solid reason for being missing, I’d save it until tomorrow and use it then.
Melissa came to the conclusion that she had been duped after waiting more than an hour and a half for her date to arrive. As soon as she changed out of her finest dinner dress and into her pyjamas and slippers, she made herself a snack and settled in for an evening of watching television.
A few minutes after she’d plopped down in front of the television, her doorbell rang. There was her date waiting for her.
“I’m two hours late… and you’re still not ready?” he said after taking one glance at her and gasping.
Mark had the issue of waking up late in the morning, and as a result, he was always late for work. The next week, Mr Johnson, his employer brought him into his office and threatened to terminate him if he didn’t take action to correct the situation.
As a result, Mark went to his doctor, who prescribed a tablet and instructed him to take it before going to bed. He had a restful night’s sleep and woke up early enough to beat the alarm in the morning. After a leisurely breakfast, he headed to work with a good disposition.
In the words of Mr Johnson, “the medicine that my doctor prescribed for me genuinely worked!”
“That’s OK,” his employer remarked, “but where were you yesterday?” he inquired further.
Mullah Nasruddin had saved sufficient money in order to purchase a new clothing. Thrilled with anticipation, he walked to the tailor’s shop. “Come back in a week, and – if Allah wills – your shirt will be ready,” the tailor told him after taking his measurements.
The Mullah managed to keep himself under control for a week before returning to the store.
“There has been a hiccup in the process. However, if Allah wills, your clothing will be ready the next day.” ” Nasruddin returned to the scene the next day. “Please accept my apologies, but it is not quite completed,” the tailor said. Attempt it tomorrow; it will be ready, if Allah wills it, if you try again.” ”
“Can you tell me how long it will take if you don’t include Allah in it?” Nasruddin, irritated, inquired.
Steve Cleary was in his early 50s, had recently retired, and had begun a second career in the financial services industry. He, on the other hand, couldn’t manage to make it to work on time. He was consistently 5, 10, and 15 minutes late. However, since he was a hard worker and quite intelligent, the proprietor was at a loss as to how to deal with him. Eventually, he summoned Steve to his office for a discussion. Steve agreed.
‘Steven, I have to tell you that I like your work ethic and that you perform an excellent job, but the fact that you are late so often is a source of concern.’
‘Yes, sir, I understand what you’re saying, and I’m working on it.’ Steve said.
‘It gives me great pleasure to learn that you are a team player. It’s strange, however, that you’re arriving late. I’m aware that you’re a retired member of the Royal Navy. ‘How did people react if you arrived late at the office?’
‘They greeted Admiral with a cheerful “Good morning.”‘
Everything that Jim has done has been late – late for work, late for football games, and even late for vacations. He’s kept ladies waiting on first dates for hours, shown up to dinners with friends hours after he should have, and even arrived at funerals after the service had already began, according to reports. He has now been diagnosed with a medical disease known as Chronic Lateness Syndrome, which is characterized by poor timekeeping.
His family hasn’t changed their minds about him. They believe he’s simply making excuses for himself.
Jim, on the other hand, claims that realizing he has a medical problem and that it is not his fault has been quite beneficial.
According to the results of a poll performed by Career Builder, out of around 5,000 persons who participated, 29 percent of workers admitted to being often late to work at least once a month–while another 16 percent admitted to being late on a weekly basis.
We can probably assume that the majority of these employees who were late to work had legitimate reasons for their tardiness, but we are also confident that there are those who have come up with amusing excuses for being late to work, so let’s have some fun and laugh at some of these ridiculous excuses!
I once worked with someone who was either bored, inept, or a masochist, depending on how you looked at it. Alternatively, any or all of the options listed.
During the course of the day, my coworker’s boss in the finance department was becoming more impatient with him for being either late or absent for extended periods of time. Almost all of the time.
Mr. Late-and-Disappearance walks into our room (6 persons, 6 workstations, all crunching and analyzing figures in one large space) after having been gone for 2 hours, and Bob loses his cool, to put it mildly.
Mr. Late shrugs when Bob politely inquires as to the reason for his repeated lateness and absence. Bob raises the stakes with his inquiries.
Mr. Late begins to shuffle his feet, as if he is a little uncomfortable. The number of inquiries and allegations continues to rise.
Finally, Mr. Late says something that I will never forget: “Look, I’ve been having diarrhoea and constipation on and off for the past, maybe, 7 months. I’m not sure what it is.” I’m sitting on the trash can in agony. Nothing seems to work. So, if you decide to terminate me, you’ll have that know-how in your possession.”
Silence. We’re all heading back to work.
Mr. Late decides to resign two days later.
While at work, he wasn’t experiencing stomach issues since he was job looking and preparing for a triathlon at the same time.
Bringing up a gastrointestinal condition as an excuse for being late to work is one of the strangest of all time! However, it is undoubtedly one of those amusing reasons for being late to work! It is hoped that Mr. Late had established his own firm at that time, including some successful work from home concepts.
This engaging tale certainly made it into our list of amusing reasons for being late to work, and we hope you enjoyed it. According to mythology, we have not been able to prove the validity of this tory to this day.
Back when I was in high school, I worked at a small, family-owned shop (I emphasize this since the store later became a perfect example of how to destroy a company via nepotism.)
One of my fellow high-school student employees went missing for a period of many days without a trace. When he returned to work, he claimed that his grandmother had died, which was true.
The shop manager yelled at him since it was the third time he’d used the same explanation in about a year and a half. He just sort of sat there and took it since he was afraid of creating a scene.
A few weeks later, he phoned into work and said that he couldn’t make it because, guess what, his grandma had passed away.
He also needed time off for the funeral, which took place over the weekend. This is when things start to get interesting. The shop manager essentially informed him that he didn’t need to bother coming back since he thought it was one of his amusing reasons for being late.
He then dialed his father’s phone number. As the talk progressed, the manager, who was around the same age as us, became whiter and paler, and the number of syllables he spoke decreased as the conversation progressed.
He placed the phone down and didn’t say anything more about what had happened. When this colleague arrived the next day, their step-father escorted them into the office and requested that the manager meet with them in a private setting.
The manager was the kind of person who, when given a little amount of authority, allowed it to spiral out of control. As a result, they said that “whatever they had to say could be shouted right there at the front desk.” Step-father threw a fit at the management.
The bare essentials, unadorned, cleaned up, and not former-
According to the core of the story, this youngster had an adopted mother and a stepfather who were both devoted to him, and he was also close to four other grandmothers.
This unfortunate guy had developed strong bonds with four sets of grandparents, but had lost touch with half of them within a year.
Upon completion, the step-father informed our manager that he would be departing and accepting a job offer from our competitor in two weeks’ time, which he did.
Then he handed over four sets of photocopied eulogies to the manager. It’s not a hilarious reason for being late, but it’s a genuine one, no doubt!
As a colleague rather than an employee, I’m hoping that this still ranks as one of the more amusing reasons for being late to work. 🙂
A new employee, and it’s strife right from the beginning.
She informed her boss that she required Mondays, Wednesdays, and Sundays off for church, that she needed Tuesdays off for YMCA courses, that she needed at least one evening off to spend with her husband, and so on.
When you met her, you realized she was the kind of person who wouldn’t stay long, particularly in a hospital atmosphere. You simply do not have the authority to name your phrases in this manner.
But, for whatever reason, she was recruited on the spot.
Whatever the case, she returned home for lunch one day.
Our lunches were short, frequently lasting less than a half hour, and it wasn’t worth it to go off campus for them.
Nevertheless, she drove herself back to her apartment across town, and we didn’t hear from her for a couple of hours after that. Finally, she phoned and said, “I came home and completely forgot that I had a job today.” Is it okay if I simply stay? Is it necessary for me to come back in?”
The supervisor informed her that she was not required to return to the office.
“I had a birthday celebration for a friend’s dog that I needed to attend…” says Mariene.
In our place of employment, we have the right to utilize the “locator slip,” which allows an employee to leave during office hours for a maximum of two hours, provided that there is a legitimate cause.
I was asked to a birthday celebration one day, which I accepted. We generally get an hour for lunch, but I believe it is insufficient, and I am concerned that I will be late if I go to lunch and then return to the office.
So I decided to take a chance and apply for a locator slip. My purpose for traveling was to celebrate the third birthday of my closest friend’s labrador.
‘You’re certainly one crazy girl with weird friends,’ said my boss, who gave me the “you’re definitely one weird lady with weird pals,’ look.
But it wasn’t what I expected. I thought he wanted to know whether I was going on a date (which I’d been preparing for by reading this article on how to have a great first date: https://www.startupstorey.com/lifehacks/how-to-have-a-great-first-date/).
“All you have to do is be back by 1:30 p.m.”
Hoooooray! My plea was granted, and I was able to attend this adorable girl’s birthday party. (PS: To the administrators of StartupStorey, I hope this makes the list of amusing reasons for being late to work, or rather for getting out of work.)
I have three male roommates, and we all have a certain schedule that we adhere to on a daily basis. The last person to leave the home, where one of them, who happens to be a colleague, generally departs before me, is something I’m not used to.
I was getting ready to go to the office one day and was about to go outside the door when I realized that someone had closed the door from the outside of the building.
Because we have a latch system with an interlock, someone accidentally slid the latch while locking the door, trapping me inside.
I asked a colleague whether he was the one who had locked me in the home, and he admitted that he had done so and had forgotten that I was there.
He was so calm when he told me this, I told him to come home and fucking let me out of here. He tells me that he can’t because he is working – I was like, “What the hell, it’s not like I fried potatoes at work,” and he tells me that he has a lot of work.
Then he proposes that I start yelling and that if anybody on the street hears me, they will let me out of the building. WOW!! Now I have to call out to people to allow me out of my own home, which is a huge inconvenience.
So I began yelling, and, lo and behold, it worked! I was released out after about 5 minutes when an inquisitive neighbour heard my pleas and opened the door for me. She chuckled when she heard my tale and let me out.
When my boss phoned me about some work throughout all of this, I told him everything that had been going on.
Now, guess what? My roommate and I are both members of the same project team, and we happen to work on the same floor as each other. My manager approached him and inquired as to what was going on with him. Later, when my boss related this tale to the other 50 coworkers on my level, it was discovered that he had been concealing his face all along.
Even though I was late and furious when I got at work, it was amusing because everyone in the office was laughing their heads off at the absurdity of the scenario.
What’s more, guess what? The narrative does not come to a close here.
The next week, my roommate did the same thing, and I just contacted my boss and stated, “He locked me up again.”
Do you remember the gentleman who let me out the previous time? Well, guess what fortune has in store for me in its basket. This time, it was the same lady who let me out. She lived on the other side of the street.
This time she was like, rolling about on the floor, laughing out loud, and wetting his pants all at the same moment.
My office manager went to my roommate and requested him to take medical leave, which he agreed to do.
I came late for the same reason as before because of the same individual, as if history were being repeated for himself. The whole floor burst out laughing once again and I arrived late for the same reason as before.
For the following six months, he was mocked mercilessly by every single individual on my project because of this tendency. And with good reason!
This is definitely one of the most amusing reasons for being late to work that you can share with your friends at a party.
If you are unfortunate enough to have such a terrible roommate, it is time for you to begin establishing new acquaintances as an adult.
This is coming from an IT manager in charge of 36 programmers and quality assurance workers at a billion-dollar corporation. She raised llamas in her free time, so it’s likely that she was telling the truth.
Even funny, she didn’t appear to think that was a very odd reason for being absent! Sick children and funerals are unavoidable, but she made it seem as though Human Resources provided everyone with three “live llama birth” days every year.
In recent years, llama births have been the go-to reason for job absences as well as an excuse to avoid social obligations:
“Can you tell me where Joe is?”
“Didn’t you hear what I said? “His llama gave birth last night,” says the author.
When I was younger and a bit more irresponsible, I woke up with a really painful head and realized I wouldn’t be able to make it to work on that particular morning.
Because I have always believed in being truthful, composing this text message to my supervisor was a bit of a pleasure for me. Okay, so this is a funny excuse for being late to work that I just had to submit to the StartupStorey blog after reading one of their insightful articles, Ultimate Guide to Startup Marketing (https://www.startupstorey.com/startup/startup-guide-forentrepreneurs/), which was extremely beneficial to me in my current position.
To give you some context, this occurred in London when my firm was located on a major industrial estate; the people I encountered were completely befuddled.
They also didn’t have any money for public transportation or taxis amongst them.
My SMS message is as follows: “Hello [Boss],” I was standing at the bus stop, waiting for the bus to take me home, when I happened to run across a lost Lithuanian heavy metal band with a crate of cider in their hands. When I returned home after walking for many hours to assist them in finding their destination, I was a little tipsier than I had anticipated. Sorry for the inconvenience, but I will not be able to make it in today.
His response: All OK.
Fortunately, my bonus was protected for the whole year!
Not one of my employees, but rather the man I took over for while he was incarcerated in an asylum for the criminally insane (really).
He was late for work one day, and his supervisor (who would later become my boss) inquired as to why.
“Someone has stolen my doughnuts.”
“I was standing on the metro station when someone swiped my bag of doughnuts,” I said.
“And…. were you hurt?” says the narrator.
“I didn’t, but I had to wait for the police officers to arrive.”
My share of coworkers have called in to tell tall yarns, but this one gets the prize for most outrageous of them. It’s possible that the whole jar is missing.
My aunt owns a limestone quarry, which she uses for her business.
An employee who was responsible for transporting quarried limestone to the marble plant phoned to inform her that his wife had gone away the night before, and he requested compassionate leave for a few days.
To which my aunt said, “Take as much time as you need.” After hanging up the phone, she made the decision to head over to the location and express her sorrow personally.
The door was answered by the wife.
I once contacted my employer to inform him that I could be late for our regularly scheduled Tuesday am meeting because a jet had just crashed into the building where I changed trains and I was planning to take the other PATH train across town to make up for it.
It was soon after the first jet struck the World Trade Center that I left this note, since we had no clue what was happening or the extent of the issue.
The Empire State Building was struck by a small aircraft once before, in the 1940s, and the first accounts made it seem like a comparable incident: something that should be avoided at all costs, but not necessarily catastrophic.)
Consequently, at the time, it seemed like a strange excuse, although one that could be readily verified.
I did, in fact, arrive to my Jersey City office a few minutes late, but my supervisor was not irritated in the least. He seemed to be relieved to see me.
“I’m trying to untangle a rabbit from a net.”
The batting cage in our backyard allows my children to practice hitting without worrying about shattering windows or losing their baseballs.
Earlier this week, as I was driving out of the driveway to drop the boys off at school and go to work, I saw something on the internet. I came to a complete halt when I realized it was a little rabbit. There were no shadows around its eyes, and it was entirely wrapped around its neck.
I was worried that it was dead, but I was more concerned that it was barely alive and that if I went for school, it would be dead when I returned. I couldn’t take a risk like that.
I approached the rabbit and discovered that it was still alive, but that it was unable to move any part of its body. It had been ensnared in its own web.
Its head was trapped through one of the openings in the net, and its legs were entangled and knotted from the knees down to the toes of the creature. I knew it would be tough, but I had no choice but to attempt to free it.
After approximately fifteen minutes, I contacted my supervisor to explain my predicament, and I was informed everything was OK. I was relieved.
It took me at least another ten minutes to finish, but I was able to get the rabbit entirely unwrapped while still holding it in position so that it wouldn’t get entangled in the same thing again. As I freed the rest of the bunnies, I worked the bottom of the rabbit out of the net, and it bolted away.
That evening, my husband improved the way the net was fastened so that there would be no more loose net on the ground to trap innocent rabbits in the future.
I didn’t get any negative feedback at work as a result of it, which is possibly due to the fact that I am normally punctual.
Do you have a certain amount of time that you spend getting to work? Your response is most likely to begin with the word “about.” Do you see what I’m getting at with this? And here’s the problem with this: You truly have no clue how long it will take you to go to work; you can only make educated guesses about how long it will take.
Trouble occurs as a result of changes in pathways over time that occur at a slow enough rate that your brain is not aware of them. If your journey is now 5 minutes longer than it was two years ago, would it surprise you to find that it is 5 minutes longer? You can see for yourself how long your trip will take by visiting Google Maps and entering your starting place and destination to see how long it will take you to walk, drive, or use public transportation to your destination.
You’ll most likely be surprised by the outcome.
For example, ten years ago, it would take around 5 minutes to drive from Aldersgate Street in London to Great Dover Street in London in a vehicle. It currently takes ten minutes if there is no traffic.
We suggest that you re-evaluate the length of time it takes you to complete your routes at least once a month, and anytime roadworks or new traffic control systems are implemented. Also vital is to consider in the time it takes you to get ready for the day’s activities…
One of the most important factors in never being late to work is organization.
It is best to have your clothing and other necessities ready the night before a working day. This includes your lunch, documents, tools, and other necessities. If they are not, you will be compelled to do all of this throughout the course of a normal workday with the time ticking away. The danger here is that you will miss something important to your workday, such as a presentation (in which case you should ready to get hammered by your boss) or that you will forget where you left your vehicle keys (prepare to be at the mercy of rush-hour traffic).
This is something that you will not have to deal with if you prepare things ahead of time. Additionally, you will be lot less worried during the day. It’s a win-win situation.
A large number of individuals come late to work because they had intended to be on time, rather than early. The issue with this strategy is that you run the danger of being late all of the time since there is no contingency plan in place for the unforeseen, such as traffic jams or abrupt changes in weather.
Of course, this is a state of mind. Almost all of the time, we are urged to appear at work on time, and this habit has become deeply established in our minds. But you’ve got to get your head out of the sand.
The quickest and most effective approach to snap out of it is to create a new deadline for yourself. As an example, if your workday officially starts at 9 a.m., establish an unofficial start time of 08:45 a.m. and attempt to be at your place of employment on or before your unofficial start time. This may require you to leave half an hour earlier than you normally would, but it will provide you with a significant level of flexibility, and it is unlikely that any unanticipated issues, such as poor traffic, would prevent you from being at work on time. Furthermore, if you arrive early, you can bet your life that your superiors will appreciate your efforts.
While you are reading this on your daily commute, you may be interested in reading another of our blog posts, such as What is the weirdest thing you have ever said to your boss? (https://www.startupstorey.com/2018/09/19/craziest-thing-said-toyour-boss/)
Check out our other humorous business tales (https://www.startupstorey.com/funny-business-stories), which will offer you with some much-needed justifications for taking the following day off from your work. If none of these reasons worked, or if you used too many of them, it may be time to look for a new employment – or to quit your current position. How to Perform Outstandingly in Job Interviews
And this article Tintota.com will help you answer the question of funny stories about being late.