I love first dates, I truly do, but I have to say I’m over them. There’s so much build up, so much pressure (not to mention uncomfortable shoes) and don’t even get me started on the billions of articles out there about first dates. Really, it’s all a big to do about one night, and when you stop to think about it, it isn’t THE most important.
Of course it’s special. After all, this is where two people make their first impressions on each other. On the third date, oh so “tradition” seems to dictate, we show our new sweetie our sexy under things. Mind you these days that magic moment can happen anywhere from before your first date to your wedding night. However, most of my friends and I seem to be part of the third date thrill.
The outing in between those two events, the sweet second date, gets the shaft most of the time. No one pays attention to this night but really, I think this is where the gold is at, Think about it: you’re slightly more at ease and less nerve-ridden than you were on the first date but the overwhelming thoughts of sex are (maybe) waiting until the next time you go out (for the record, I’m not a huge rules girl, I’m just using the whole third-date-sex thing as an example), but it’s still so early in the relationship that you’re completely excited and everything is still brand new.
The second date is the sweet spot. You want to make sure you make the most of this underappreciated occasion read on for a handy checklist:
Listen, a lot
On the second date, relax. Obviously, if you’re out with this person again, you did great the first time. Let the nerves go a little bit and turn your brain back on. Focus less on making yourself look amazing (just focus a little less on that) and be genuinely interested in getting to know this other person. Let the information sink in and watch him or her become more complete to you.
Flirt it up
This is the time to flirt it up, just don’t get too serious about it. Why do you need to flirt it up on the second date? Because too often people allow themselves to slip into “friend” mode. So you’d better be creating some sexual undertones otherwise your date will get the wrong impression.
If you want your date to believe that all you want is friendship, good enough. But I’m guessing you don’t; so flirt it up and make your intentions clear.
Let go of your preconceptions
Boxes, as in preconceived notions; about this person, this “maybe” relationship and even yourself. You’ve only been out together once, so now is not the time to make assumptions. The fact is that you don’t know who this person is yet, nor do you know how they perceive you. It’s way too soon to put this relationship into a neatly labeled box.