Even if that has not happened to you, you’ve probably read a book or two, or perhaps you know someone that this has happened to. A head over heels love at first sight meeting. And it didn’t stop there. Oh no! They did something drastic like getting married while riding elephants at the zoo or running away to Brazil. I know, you’re sighing and thinking “that’s so romantic!”. But is it really?
I tend to go back and forth on this issue, mainly because I’ve been in both situations. There was the time I was the headstrong young woman who fell head-over-heels for an older man and after 3 months together, gave up my amazing apartment, moved in with him and started shopping for engagement rings.
A month after that, he attacked me. In retrospect, it wasn’t such a good move after all. I’m glib about it now (coping mechanism, anyone?) but the truth is, at the time, it felt like my world had fallen apart: I was suddenly loveless, homeless and completely doubting my ability to read my feelings and instincts, something I had been very sure of my whole life up to this point. The whole thing was sudden, intense and just like a movie, in both the good and bad ways. And I had totally eaten it up.
I’ve been told that I should have been more discriminating and not so hasty in my decision. That could be. However, I made it out in one piece. And even if I could go back for a do over, I’m not sure that I’d do things any differently. I go from the heart, I always have, and I always will. That’s who I am. If I put a buffer on my heart I wouldn’t have experienced the emotions that I did; for better or worse.
The reasoning behind leaping before looking is really not very complicated. You can’t have all the good without risking getting some of the bad. And they don’t sacrifice the good for the sake of saving themselves from the potential bad. Doing otherwise could leave you with nothing more than middle ground. Life’s just too short to not risk some extremes from time to time.
That said, there is another side to this coin. So maybe I really am all about following your heart, even if it’s leading you to some unexpected places off of your chosen path. But there’s a difference between having a chance encounter with someone amazing who ends up being a once-in-a-lifetime, drop everything and go for it lover and being someone who habitually thrives on the drama of falling in and out of love.
People like this most certainly exist. I call them “love-bleweeds”. They make a life out of tumbling around, building up one relationship and life, only to completely uproot and reconfigure when the next one comes along. After you’ve done this for long enough, it’s very possible to forget how to be calm, comfortable and exercise any follow through.
I suppose some people are happy like this and if so, more power to them. However, there are lots of casualties surrounding someone who lives like this: they have friends and co-workers and lovers and neighbors and pets and a life that gets set up. When you drop everything at the sight of the next “soulmate” who comes along, there are bound to be a heap of people in your wake who are going to feel something missing when you’re gone.
It’s a rare thing full of unspeakable joy when you fall in love hard, fast and intense. You simply have to go for it. And if you’re really lucky, and you’ve had some experience, perhaps you’ll master doing so and keeping the rest of your life intact without having to sacrifice any of love’s intensity.
This post was written by the writers of the Datepad.com internet dating company where you can find hundreds of helpful dating posts. Grab a totally unique version of this article from the Uber Article Directory