reveals that Dr Rowan Williams AKA The Archbishop of Canterbury left his calling
because of Secret choirboy testing shock. By Perry Estelle
It was thought that Dr Rowan Williams left his post because
clerics in his religious hierarchy took the piss out of him for looking too
much like kiddies author, Terry Pratchett.
Our sources expose quite a different reason. The Archbishop
secretly got fed up with lying to his congregations earthwide about eternal
life for those who did exactly what he wanted, and snatched a choirboy, thereon
commissioning a fiendish experiment to make the youngster live forever to fulfil Dr Williams secret, sick and evil
The choirboy, who was treated for impetigo at his local GP was spirited away
under the Archbishops cassock and ferreted down the into the vaults of
Canterbury Cathedral, where geneticists started to interfere with the young boys
Cryogenics research at the Grunty Fen Institute for the ‘Dead
But Not Yet’ Foundation for members who take dying seriously, went to work
using these life-giving techniques, inside the bowels of the his historic
building to put years on the laddies life under local anaesthetic.
The Police raided the lair minutes too late, but the child
had already had the stem cells put in his neck to make him live forever.
For years Dr Williams, had promised eternal life to those
who adhere to his criteria. After 6000 years of organised religion and searches
by leading passers-by who went on Google, came up with no proof this has ever
happened in the history of God.
Dr Rowan Williams revealed to one of his choristers during a heavy drinking bout within the vestry
that secretly he had had enough of telling ‘prophetic porkies’ with regard to
making up the numbers by spinning them a bit of a yarn about outliving
everybody else if you are good, and intimated the plan that he was too hungover
the next day to remember.
Will the boy live forever? We will have to wait and see. He
now has a diary wherever he goes.
The boy who cannot be named for legal reasons but he lives
at 22 Oak Drive Impington CB9 5AJ (mobile: 01179 786 400) and was found to have
rare DNA sensitive dying in this lifetime.
The lads Mother, Mrs Aveline Tendency, believes , a diet of tripe and cowheels
soaked in marmite and a good scrub with carbolic soap, helped his future
longevity ‘not some silly stem cells and jiggery pokery’ she scoffed.