1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories
2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out
3. If you eat standing up, it doesn’t count!
4. STRESSED is just DESSERTS spelled backwards
5. If you eat the food off someone else’s plate, it doesn’t count
6, Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage cause calorie leakage
7. Food used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes: any chocolate used for energy, brandy, cheesecake, and Haagen-Daz Ice Cream
8. When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount
9. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal fuel. This includes: Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.