Science sigs, for science types!

A day without fusion is like a day without sunshine.

“If you want to make an apple pie from scratch, you must first create the universe.” – Carl Sagan

“Today, everybody remembers Galileo. How many can name the bishops and professors who refused to look through his telescope?” – James Hogan, Mind Matters

‘I used to stick my head in really large magnetic fields and induce the current in my mouth. It tasted sour’ My physics professor

‘It was, of course, a lie what you read about my religious convictions, a lie which is being systematically repeated. I do not believe in a personal God and I have never denied this but have expressed it clearly. If something is in me which can be called religious then it is the unbounded admiration for the structure of the world so far as our science can reveal it.’ –Albert Einstein in ‘Albert Einstein: The Human Side’

2nd Law of Thermodynamics: Chaos will Reign.

31.69 nHz = once a year.

A bristlecone pine is just a fire’s way of making another fire.

A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.

A red sign on the door of a physics professor: ‘If this sign is blue, you’re going too fast.’

A vibration is a motion that can’t make up its mind which way it wants to go.

Actually officer, if you factor in the earth’s rotation, we were all speeding.

Alcohol and calculus don’t mix – PLEASE don’t drink and derive.

All that glitters has a high refractive index.

As far as the laws of mathematics refer to reality, they are not certain. And as far as they are certain, they do not refer to reality. – Einstein

Barium: What you do with dead chemists.

Be careful with water — it’s full of hydrogen and oxygen!

Biology grows on you.

Black holes suck.

Black holes were created when God divided by 0.

Color… it’s just a pigment of your imagination.

ebius coolsig. This is a moebius coolsig. This is a mo …

Einstein never accepted quantum mechanics because of this element of chance and uncertainty. He said: God does not play dice. It seems that Einstein was doubly wrong. The quantum effects of black holes suggests that not only does God play dice, He sometimes throws them where they cannot be seen. – Steven Hawking

Entropy – it’s a tough job, but somebody’s got to undo it.

Entropy is the tendency of everything going to hell

Entropy isn’t what it used to be.

Entropy: Not just a fad, it’s the future!

Geologists rock your world.

Geology: Subduction leads to Orogeny.

Gravity isn’t MY fault–I voted for velcro!

Gravity… not just a good idea: It’s the law.

I like angles, but only to a degree.

If the Earth is the size of a pea in New York, then the Sun is a beachball 50m away, Pluto is 4km away, and the next nearest star is in Tokyo. Now shrink Pluto’s orbit into a coffee cup, then our Milky Way Galaxy fills North America.

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate.

In The Beginning there was nothing, which exploded.

It might look like I’m doing nothing, but at the cellular level I’m really quite busy.

Little Johnny was a scientist. Little Johnny is no more. For what he thought was H2O was H2SO4.

May the torque be about you.

Nature abhors a vacuum. So does my sister’s dog.

On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: let’s see the evolutionists try and figure this one out.

Particle physicists are always trying to hold a meeting, but whenever they decide on a place, the time changes.

Photons have mass!? I didn’t even know they were Catholic…

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Resolving a transformation is like cleaning a barn – it’s hard to get started, but when you’re good and dirty, you might as well keep going.

Scientists have discovered that time is not real, that we only live in the current moment. But then according to that, they haven’t done the research, and don’t have anything to back them up.

Scientists have shown that the moon is moving away at a tiny yet measurable distance from the earth every year. If you do the math, you can calculate that 85 million years ago the moon was orbiting the earth at a distance of about 35 feet from the earth’s surface. This would explain the death of the dinosaurs. The tallest ones, anyway.

That’s the whole problem with science. You’ve got a bunch of empiricists trying to describe things of unimaginable wonder. – Calvin and Hobbes

The Benoit/Blamey Theory of Thermo-Sock-Dynamics: Why bother to do laundry, when the inevitable loss of a sock will just increase entropy and contribute to the eventual heat death of the universe anyway?

The law of gravity says, “no fair jumping without coming down”

The most exciting phrase to hear in science, the one that heralds new discoveries, is not “Eureka!” but “That’s funny…”‘ – Isaac Asimov

The most important part of a microbiologist’s job is not letting the little things get to him.

The square root of three equals two for large values of three. – found in a bathroom in the Cornell Physics department

The Three Laws Of Thermodynamics, God Shoots Dice Style: First Law: You can’t win. Second Law: You can’t break even. Third Law: You can’t even get out of the game.

To most people solutions mean finding the answers but to chemists solutions are things that are still all mixed up…

What happens if a big asteroid hits the Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad. – Dave Barry

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet, and when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat. The two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

When they broke open molecules, they found they were only stuffed with atoms. But when they broke open atoms, they found them stuffed with explosions.

Why, if heat rises, are mountain tops so friggin’ cold?

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