Perry & Terry Pet Hates “Idle Stool anaylsts that just go through the motions’

“Forever poised between cliché and indiscretion”~ (Harold MacMillan born 1894)

Grave diggers who don’t take their work seriously enough.

People who admit to having faults, but argue being wrong isn’t one of them?

People who live in palatial homes but insist on baking their own bread?

Gynaecologists who won’t look you in the eye.

Astronauts who leave your party early complaining of a lack of atmosphere.

People who moaned like hell because they said they couldn’t handle the changes involved in going decimal in 1971, yet got the hang of National Lottery down to pat.

Roomates who interpret minimalism as doing as little as possible.

People who go abroad on holiday five times a year yet share the same bath water.

People whose looks seem to improve with their hangover.

Ageing Air hostesses who start to look and sound like Lily Savage.

The facial contortions violinists make when they play. If it hurts that much why bother?

People who wear the most expensive clothes but haven’t got a clue when it comes to dress sense.

Motorists who drive expensive cars but haven’t got a clue about road sense.

People who have expensive letters after their name but have no common sense.

Constipated people who just don’t give a shit.

Middle class glue sniffers with inflated egos. What have they got to be stuck up about?

People who are so cool they make your blood boil.

Chinese people who become disoriented as soon as they arrive in the country.

Natural scientists who find conversation awkward.

Visionaries who wear spectacles.

National Front members who always heckle from the back of the hall.

Men who can’t spell clitoris even when they’ve got it on the tip of their tongue.

Tramps with briefcases.

Activists who try and kill humans to protect laboratory rats that are there to save them in the first place.

Waiters who make you wait endlessly for expresso coffee.

Women who burn their bras then hang around on Greenham Common asking for support.

People who charge for free-range eggs.

Idle stool sample analysts, who may look busy, but actually are just going through the motions.

“How people cannot keep their feet on the ground when they get promoted but still manage to walk all over you”

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