Man Blacklisted On Ebay For Selling Vinyl Records Disguised As Omelettes (spoof news)

“Man ‘blacklisted’ on Ebay for selling vinyl records disguised as omelettes.” by Perry Estelle

Todd Rizla was banned from using eBay after substituting his mailed vinyl albums for mushroom and cheese omelette.

Complaints to eBay and the vendor accumulated as 12” album covers arrived at his customers doors filled with the homemade delicacy instead of foraged for classic music tracks.

One petrol head, Mr Jimi Toothpix bemoaned his order from Mr Rizla.

“Fair enough. Not everybody likes Iron Maiden and The Grateful Dead, but to get an omelette without a proper playlist insert, was a bit disappointing.”

Enya dreams, a lover of Irish Celt music jaded by her delivery of a bacon topped omelette with French onion instead of ‘Runrig’s’ “Our Last Pub Apology”said,
“At first I thought it was bootegg album, but put it on my turntable, all the same.

Jesus did t make a pretty nasty mess of my deck, and totally buggered me stylus, and to top it all, I’m allergic to dairy products and had to be rushed to hospital with anaphylactic shock symptoms.., I only ever had that before listening to Daniel O’Donnell. ”

Speaking from his own private island, a spokeswoman for eBay, Jess Mc Leavage said, “Anything is possible to sell on eBay. For instance, I started my eBay business selling mobility aids that claimed to contain the poltergeist entity of the previous owner. The kids loved ‘em! From climbing frame to Zimmer frame!  Now I sell emerald encrusted executive jets, and able to come off jobseekers allowance! So, if it sells put it on Ebay, I say. People have sold burnt toast on there before  and made their fortune. I even paid some money for old rope! “.

In a statement Mr Rizla defended his actions.

“I didn’t know people wanted vintage music memorabilia? I thought they just wanted a tasty snack. Nevertheless those album covers hold the contents very well. I mean, after all it’s  ‘all in the mix’ and with omelettes the ‘beat goes on’. I do EP’s as well! Well, pancakes actually!”


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