Dr Farquar’s Totally Believable Book Titles

“Psychiatric problems” by Oona Tick

“Coping with Loneliness” by Enya Todd.

“Tiny Penises” Volume One by Justin Barely

“Tiny Penises” Volume Two by Luka Maggot

“The Property Market” by Lisa Smallholding

“Time Management” by Ena Rush

“Saving Energy” by Peter Out

“Hod Carrying” by Eva Brick

“Finding happiness” by Joyce R Us

“How to Complain” by Mona Lot

“How to Grovel” Volume One by Neil Doon

“How to Grovel” Volume Two by Denise Hurt

“How to Avoid the Truth?” by Liza Little

“Short Goodbyes” by Tara Then

“Railway platform Announcements Volume One” by Bing Bong

“Railway platform announcements Volume Two” by Mina Gap

“Suicide Bombing made easy” by Dinah Mite

“Suicide Bombing and bad advice” by Ayatollah So

“Suicide Bombing.and Holding your nerve?” By Guntah Pieces.

“Suicide Bombing. The Brass Tacks. ” By Nita Explode

“Suicide Bombing. The Topgear way.” By Singh Majeep

“Suicide Bombing. By the Book. ” By Cory Ann

“Suicide bombing that goes wrong” By Miss Mafeet

“Suicide Bombing. Getting it right.” Herman Smithereens

“Suicide Bombing. Packing Plastic.” Enya Rucksack

“Suicide Bombing. Keeping cool.” By Ivor Shortfuse

“Suicide Bombing and Public transport” By Buster Busopen

“Suicide Bombing and things to do afterwards.” By Bet Amfooked

“Suicide Bombing A time and place” By Dee Tonate

“Suicide bombing by the book” By Cory Anne

“Suicide bombing and beating the clock” By Count Down

“Suicidebombing for beginners” By Justina Mapampas

“Suicide bombing A Calling” By Perry Dise

“Suicide Bombing Fertiliser is First”  by Gordon Centre

“Suicide bombing and how to avoiding arrest” by Les Hyde

Suicide Bombing and How to stand out in the crowd” by Terry Ism

“Suicide Bombing and being in several places at once”by  Ivor Deadline

“Suicide Bombing and Getting Resuscitated” by Ivor Flatline.

“Suicide Bombing on a Budget” by Titas fukk

“Promiscuity” by Zena Alottacocks

“Honest Gravedigging” by Colin Aspadeaspade.

“Leaving Rock and Roll to become a careless Gravedigger” by Chuck Bury

“Community Charge payments” by Robin Bastards.

“Fladulation” by Sadie Ism

“Film acting and Carpentry” by Sean Beam

“Borrowing money” by Linda Fiver

“Masturbation and a Better Hiding place” by Signor Wanking

“Eating Indian.” by Maurice Please

“Indian Snacking” by Cochese. N. Crackers

“Running for a bus with large breasts” by Bob Inupandoon

“Self Harming” by Pastor Razor

“Going mad” by Cy Kosis

“Stupid Haircuts” by Mo Hican

“The Claire Short Diaries” by Mad Bint

“Dreary conversation” by Boris Tatears

“Fish pedicures” by Perry Arna

“ Playing Poker” by Dilys Inn

“Vaginal waxing” by Harry Kunt

“Laziness” by Kip Alday

“Any excuse to protest” by Millie Tant

“Learning Metric” by Milly Meter

“Maths by numbers” by Cal Culate

“Wasted Opportunities” by Irma Twat

“4 month orgasms” by Roger Merigid.

“Sex toys” by Dill Do

“Sex toys that are made to suit you” by Hugh Janus

“Incest “ by Bob Sruncle

“Incest 2” by Cam Inmasister

“Welsh Incest ” by Jess Blewmadar

“Incest on the beach” by Phil Manephew

“Too many pies” by Fatima Knickers

“Council tax made easy” by Robin Bastards

“Shoplifting near you” by Nick Owt

“Icecream and Erectile Dysfunction” by Mr Softee

“The female G-Spot” by Rob Maclit

“Easing aches and pains” by Robin Alcohol

“Squandering your Money” by Spencer Fortune

“I’m Skint” by Gina Clubb

“What truck?” by Lori Cummin

“Ignorance is Bliss” by Dick Edd

“Chest Infections” by Vick Rubb

“Boredom” By Gita Loif

“Warning pedestrians” by Pippa Horn

“Cockney doctors” by Steph Ascope.

“The Cameron and Clegg testimonials” Horace Tories

“Falling out with astronauts” by Amos Fear

“Controlling Anxiety” by Val Lium

“Quit Smoking” by Ash Tray

“Still smoking?” by Ash Right

“Why can’t you give up smoking? by Ash Nunnofyourbizness

“The National Lottery” by Winsome Losesome

“Chinese Farting” by Blake Innwind

“Bullfighting” by Igor Dimm

“Food poisoning” by Simon Ella

“Small cars” by Reno Clio

“Sex Frolics” by Roland Aroond

“Hunting hares” by Ron Rabbitronronron

“Cowboy quotes by cockneys” by Rufus Lekin

“Half arsed DIY” by Thad Aldoo

“Body hair removal” by Shawn Pubes

“Mild Insults” by Enya Bike

“Pub Regulars” by Sam Asusual

“Stubborness” by Stan Yagroond

“Queuing” by Stan Inline

“Blaming people” By Stan Tayoo

“Reveille” by Stan Byyabeds

“Knowing it All” by Ben There & Dan Nat

“Female Flatulence” by Poppy Botty

“Marital separation in Belfast” by Levon Tamarra

“Building a House using bad pronunciation” by Archie Texture

“Unfamiliar Vegetables “ by Archie Choke

“Dangerous sports” by Archie Ree

“I don’t do Technology”” By Maddie Evil

“Getting the best from your T break” by Duncan Abikki

“Sheep dipping” by Duncan Maflock

“Sheepworrying” by Ned Mawellies

“Oral sex” by Gavin Beejays

“Wrongful arrest” Ephraim Mee

“Funeral procedures ” by Paul Barer

“Sexual frustration” by Diane Forrit

“Family reunions for cockneys” by Sabina Longtime

“Mistaken identity for Farmers” Phoebe Oohesayheis

“Debilitating maladies for cockneys” by Elvis Sufferin

“Polite ways to get rid of house guests” Duke Indlyleave

“Weapons f the Future “by Ray Gunn

“Discreet Masturbation” by Drew Macurtains

“Keeping your Blood pressure low by lisping” by Hyacinth Yesterday.

“Barndancing” by Dulci Doh

“Milling around the shops” by Wand Aboot

“Incontinence” by Cath Ether

“Incontinence 2” by Uri Ne

“Chas and Dave favourites” by Gert Cha

“Pulling your leg” By Josh Inn

“Oceanography” By Ebb and Flo Tides

“Jealousy” by Izora First

“Fast Food” by Donna Kebab

“Boils of biblical proportions.” by Lance Alot

“How to Complain” by Mona Lott

“Unsigned cheques” by Monica Snottonit

“Impostors” by Devlin Disguise

“The Last world Conflict”” by Dorian WW2

“High Winds” by Gail Brewin

“What to put on your burger” by Evian Theonions

“Mild Surprises” by Imogen That

“Is your partner acting strange?” by Enid Issbumpsfelt

“Guesstimating” by Moira Less

“Crap Politicians” by Millie Band

“Over parenting” by Molly Coddle

“Generosity” by Cheryl Mastuff

“Generosity 2” by Sharon Ann Carin

“To hell with generosity” by Titus Fukk

“Independent Live current.” by Jenny Rator

“Crocodiles” by Ally Gator, Rip Tyle and Emma Fibbian

“Assisted suicide” by Cy Nide

“Marital Friction” by Tiffany Ezegone

“Marital friction2” by Harrison Herindoors

“Boxing clever” by Kay Ode

“Abstract Concepts” by Cyril Izzm

“Theft of your wallet” by Alma Munneysgann

“House Pride” by Dustin Anooverin

“Big Show Finales” by Aurora Applause

“Posh underwear” by Paisley Shorts

“Lager Louts” by Stella Kickedinn

“De-cluttering” by Clair Aspace

“Oral Hygiene” by Halle Tosis

“NHS Workers today” by Eva Worked & Una Paid

“Babysitting” by Justin casey Howls

“Fitting carpets” by Walter Wall

“Long Walk” by Miss Derbuss

“Mortgage rates” by Captain Fixed

“Shakespeare best oneliners” by Toby Ornottabee

“Shakespeare best oneliners2 “ by Thaddeus Thequestion

“Hailing Taxis” by Colin Allcars

“What Kojak said to Ironside” by Hugh Shovesyababy

“The worlds Hottest curries” by Bernie Bumm & Lou Roll

“Keeping secrets By Siohan Say

“Keeping Secrets 2” by Said Owt

“Saving Rainforests” by Teresa Dyin

“Refusing lifts from strangers and using the stairs instead “ by Elle Vator

“Lightning and how to conduct yourself” by Derek Current

“Thief Deterrents” by Barb Dwire

“Australian outside cooking” By Barbie Que & Kit Chup and their children Charlie Coal & Lettie Fluid & Gus Cyclinder

“Sweet dishes” Jess Desserts

“Where are you going? By Tobias Apint

“Motor vandalism” by Carson Bricks

“What would Cheeses do?” by Bjorn Agin & Red Leicester

“Punctuality” by Justin Tyme

“Avoiding Police Arrest” by Cooper Lookout

“Dementia” By Wanda Aboot

“Dogturds on Mountain Edges” by Cliff Richard


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