Do pilots take crash-courses?
Do Roman paramedics refer to IV’s as “4’s”?
Do Scottish Terriers get Scotch Tape worms?
Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?
Do steam rollers really roll steam?
Do vampires get AIDS?
Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do witches run spell checkers?
Do firing squads need silencers for mimes?
Do you realize how many holes there could be if people would just take the time to take the dirt out of them?
Does the Queen ever have to show ID?
Does a man-eating shark eat women, too?
Does killing time damage eternity?
Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?
Do hexagon nut tighteners belong to Allen?
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?
Have you ever wondered?
How can someone “draw a blank”?
How can there be self-help “groups”?
How can you tell when it is time to tune your bagpipes?
How come chocolate milk doesn’t come from brown cows?
How come I can pick my ears and my nose and not my brains?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
How did a fool and his money get together?
How does the man who invented cottage cheese ?
If you ate a shepherd’s pie, or a ploughman’s lunch what do they get to eat?
How do I set my laser printer on stun?
How do they get the “Keep off the Grass” sign on the grass?
How do you get off a nonstop flight?
How do you know if honesty is the best policy unless you’ve tried some of the others?
How do you know when you’ve run out of invisible ink?
How do you throw away a garbage can?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How does a person with a lisp pronounce that word?
How does a thermos know whether a drink should be hot or cold?
How does it work out that these people always die in alphabetical order?
How does the guy who drives the snowplough get to work in the mornings?
How is it possible to have a “civil” war?
How is it possible to run out of space?
How long is the long arm of the law?
How many people does it take to change a searchlight bulb?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
How much can I get away with and still go to heaven?
How much milk is there in the Milky Way?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a candle factory burns down, does everyone just stand around and sing “Happy Birthday?”
If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?
If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?
If a jogger has an ‘anti jogging mechanism’ on his Walkman…why bother?
If you die of asbestosis are you harder to cremate?
If you take anti-inflammatory tablets are you harder to cremate?
If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn’t it reverse up and down?
If a picture is worth a thousand words, what is a picture of a thousand words worth?
If a pig is sold to the pawn shop, is it a ham-hock?
If a pronoun is a word used in place of a noun, is a proverb a word used in place of a verb?
If a tree falls in the forest, does the earth scream out in pain?
If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?
If a word in the dictionary were misspelled, how would we know?
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you completely absolute?
If all the world is a stage, where are the audience sitting?
If an orange is orange, why isn’t a lime called a green, and a lemon called a yellow?
If athletes get athlete’s foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If Barbie’s so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?
If bees live in an apiary, do apes live in a beeiary?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don’t deaf people wear earmuffs?
Who disabled a ‘disabled’ toilet?
If cats and dog didn’t have fur would we still stroke them?
If corn can’t hear, why does it have an ear?
If corn oil is made from corn, what is baby oil made from?
If crime fighters fight crime and fire fighters fight fire, what do freedom fighters fight?
If everything is part of a whole, what is the whole part of? —
If flowers don’t talk back to you, are they mums?
If Fred Flintstone knew that the large order of ribs would tip his car over, why did he order them at the end of every show?
If God can do anything, can he make a rock so big he can’t lift it?
If God dropped acid, would he see people?
If humans get a charley horse, what do horses get?
If humans have nightmares, what do horses have?
Can I stay sober if I put dry ice in my drink?
If I save time, when do I get it back?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
If man evolved from apes why do we still have apes?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If our knees were on the backs of our legs, what would chairs look like?
If a rabbit foot are so lucky perhaps we ought to ask the rabbit why?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation and are the prison sentences concurrent?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for yourfigure, then why do the whales look like the way they do?
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
Can gossiping knitting circles become a vicious one?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
If the product says “Do not use if seal is broken”, how are you supposed to open it and use it?
If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex?
If time heals all wounds, how come bellybuttons don’t fill in?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you ate pasta and antipasta, would you still be hungry?
If you took Imodium and Exlax together who would win?
If you can’t drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?
Is your oven more popular if it is fan assisted?
If you choke a Smurf, what coluor does it turn?
If you didn’t get caught, did you really do it?
If you get into a taxi cab, and ask the driver to drive backwards to your destination, will the cab driver owe you money?
If you had a million Shakespeares, could they write like a monkey?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you saw a heat wave, would you wave back?
Is a microwave hardly noticeable across the street?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
If you tell a joke in the forest, but nobody laughs, was it a joke?
If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?
If you stuck some salad on your resume would it look like you had lettuce after your name?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If you’re born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If your car says Dodge on the front of it, do you really need a horn?
If you’re a kleptomaniac, is there something you can take for it?
If you’re in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
In court, why do they ask if you swear to tell the truth? If you’re planning on lying, do they really think you’ll tell them so?
Instead of wasting time hunting and cooking, why don’t hunters just use flame-throwers?
Is “tired old cliché” one?
Is a castrated pig disgruntled?
Is a halfback more valuable than a quarterback?
Is a sleeping bull a bull-dozer?
Is a small pig called a hamlet?
Is an oxymoron a really dumb bovine?
Is drilling for oil boring?
Is duck tape made out of ducks?
Is it OK to use the AM radio after noon?
Is it true that cannibals don’t eat clowns because they taste funny?
Is that a flying saucer or a pie in the sky?
Is the nose the scenter of the face?
Is this bullshit or fertilizer?
Now that Microsoft is so big, should it be called Macrosoft?
Do you Have a Question Or Is there No Answer to that?
Do pilots take crash-courses?