A Drunkard’s Ode

A Drunkard’s Ode

(Gulp, gulp)
Blockhead, halfwit, ignoramus,
Hmm… What’s this? A C-minus?
Not bad, not bad for a
Three-time college freshman-ous.

(Gulp, gulp)
Did you just say incorrigible? indelible?
Nah… I think not.
It’s (hik!) disagreeable!
Disagreeable, my life, it’s un-feeble,
Feeble-minded, nitwit, twerp, irrational,
Gosh (I’m dizzy)
Is my mind idle?

(Gulp, gulp, hik!)
I’m demented.
Thish hyshteria ish compelling
Me to withdraw a sshhhtep back.
I think I left the flatiron on!
(Hik! And giddy…) Rats!
But anyway, carry on.

(Gobble, gulp, gobble)
Nyahahaha blahblahblah
This is all I can babble,
Since I can’t disembark
From this train of
I’d rather not rest my case,
I’d rather not park.

(Gobble, gobble, and feeling more giddy)
“Pare, you’ve heard of Darwin’s evolu-thingie?”
Well, this one’s Miss Zafra’s Devolution Theory.
-deteriorating into a lower life form,
like now, its indecipherable.
I’m beginning to grope, two more seconds,
On the club floor, I slither.

(Gobble, gulp)
Yeah, I remember, you Martian!
(Gulp, hik!)
I was gulping the drink of the depressed Russians,
And be a spoilsport and
Just drink coke?
Buwahahahaha… huh!…uh-oh…


My sedate, well-ordered existence
Just went kaput.

– Abigail Anne Gonzales
Angeles City, Pampanga, Philippines.

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